Where the Crumbs Lead

I’m in my late twenties, though I don’t know how I got here. The last thing I remember, somebody said, “wanna try some grad school?” and I was all, like, sure man, what harm could it do? Then I woke up on the other side of an ABD in Literature, having gone through, all told, 2 years of coursework, a thesis, a move, another 2 years of coursework, 2 years of exams and putzing about, another move, a wedding, and all the other stuff of life. Then I looked down and noticed I had a hole in my side. Luckily I wasn’t missing a kidney, only a gall bladder. And no one even bothered to put me in a tub of ice…

So here I am, at work (sometimes) on my dissertation. I started this blog because I need to bitch to a blank wall for awhile. I also need to force myself to write everyday, and this helps to get the brain moving. Also, I recently discovered that the dissertation I wanted to write has already been written, so…you know…I’m pretty much screwed, but I’ve got to pick up the remainders of my thoughts and start over.

Advice and encouragement are always welcome, especially if you’ve been here before or you’re here right now. Criticism will most likely be ignored; that’s what I do in real life, anyway. Blatant nastiness will be avenged and then promptly deleted.

Oh, and if you’re curious about my life outside the academy (you mean there is such a thing??)…I’m allergic to cats, I want to adopt a dog, I wish I played the piano, I used to play the clarinet, I love snacks, I’m pretty seriously addicted to coffee, I tell my husband each time I smoke a cigarette because he thought he was marrying a non-smoker, I believe I’m a nonsmoker because a few packs a year is not a habit, I did a B.A. in English because that’s what my sibling did and it seemed like a good idea at the time, I still prefer cash to credit cards, I don’t understand the long-term appeal of video games, I’ve never held a non-academic job, I honestly have no clue if I want to have children, I recently found out I’m more fertile than I thought I was, I have multiple anxieties and phobias, I have recently rediscovered my childhood dream of becoming a puppeteer, I make jacked-up stuffed animals in my spare time, I love reality tv and will sit through marathons of anything on Bravo, I used to be a great student but now I have very bad habits, and, like everyone else, I want to write that book, the one that makes me a household name (note: many of the aforementioned traits preclude this dream from becoming a reality).

Oh, and did you notice that little strike out above?  I started this blog in late-June 2008 and became pregnant in July.  My dissertation advisor had declared “no babies before dissertations!” just that May, but, you know.  Stuff.  It happens.  After a pregnancy filled with my usual level of fretfulness and anxiety, sometimes more, I gave birth to a son in April.  Now I’m trying to balance my old life with this new one.  Or maybe…trying to accept that life as it was is pretty much done, and life as it is, with a dissertation to write and a newborn to raise, is what I’m doing now.  Speaking of which, I should probably strike out that bit about the occasional cigarette, too…